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Things Lilly says when she is sick:

L: (stuffy sounding groaning) I hurt.  I hurt and my skin is super-sensitive and I am cold.  My feet are sooo cold.

H:  Aw.  Here, put on your socks and you can wear my slippers.

L:  (stuffy sounding whine)  I don’t want to wear your stinky manful slippers.  I don’t want to look all mannish just because I am sick.  I still want to look attractive, you know.

H:  While you are attractively hacking up phlegm in a lady like way.

L:  Hey!  Don’t make fun of the Sick Rules.

H: There are ‘Sick Rules’?

L:  Yes, I didn’t want to tell you about them before you moved in because then you wouldn’t move in.

H:  (sighing and rolling eyes)  But it’s too late now so…

L:  Yes, so now you must learn them and abide.  (groaning)  I am cold but I need to sit up.

H: (reaching for blanket)  Here, let’s put this blanket around your shoulders…

L: (panicking)  Not touching the hair!  One of the Rules!  I have anime hair right now (pointing to her head) and I like it that way and I know it looks ridiculous in public but right now it fits!  (sighing and slumping and blowing nose enthusiastically)  I also need drugs and I mean GOOD drugs.  Drugs so good you could drop a bridge on my foot and I wouldn’t care.  I would just play Donkey Kong and drink purple Fanta and sue them later.  The drugs are for the stabbing pain that I have all over.  It’s the kind of pain where if there was an actual person stabbing me I would actually hit him.  Preferably with a baseball bat, but I am open to using other things.  (pause, cough)  And you have never seen me swing a bat but I used to go to the batting cages all that time so don’t doubt my batting skills you crazy bad man.

H:  (pursing lips, raising eyebrows)  Drugs.  Got it.