Things Lilly says when she is sick:
L: (stuffy sounding groaning) I hurt. I hurt and my skin is super-sensitive and I am cold. My feet are sooo cold.
H: Aw. Here, put on your socks and you can wear my slippers.
L: (stuffy sounding whine) I don’t want to wear your stinky manful slippers. I don’t want to look all mannish just because I am sick. I still want to look attractive, you know.
H: While you are attractively hacking up phlegm in a lady like way.
L: Hey! Don’t make fun of the Sick Rules.
H: There are ‘Sick Rules’?
L: Yes, I didn’t want to tell you about them before you moved in because then you wouldn’t move in.
H: (sighing and rolling eyes) But it’s too late now so…
L: Yes, so now you must learn them and abide. (groaning) I am cold but I need to sit up.
H: (reaching for blanket) Here, let’s put this blanket around your shoulders…
L: (panicking) Not touching the hair! One of the Rules! I have anime hair right now (pointing to her head) and I like it that way and I know it looks ridiculous in public but right now it fits! (sighing and slumping and blowing nose enthusiastically) I also need drugs and I mean GOOD drugs. Drugs so good you could drop a bridge on my foot and I wouldn’t care. I would just play Donkey Kong and drink purple Fanta and sue them later. The drugs are for the stabbing pain that I have all over. It’s the kind of pain where if there was an actual person stabbing me I would actually hit him. Preferably with a baseball bat, but I am open to using other things. (pause, cough) And you have never seen me swing a bat but I used to go to the batting cages all that time so don’t doubt my batting skills you crazy bad man.
H: (pursing lips, raising eyebrows) Drugs. Got it.