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Craisglist Ad:

IT Manager (Crater Lake National Park)

Essential Duties and Responsibilities include the following:

  • Handles all day-to-day support IT functions needed within the property.
  • Works with the Chief Information Officer, and other corporate IT staff to serve as the primary technical liaison between the property and corporate.
  • Sets and adheres to departmental operating and capital budgets as well as oversight of hardware and software maintenance contracts.
  • Provides both a strategic direction and tactical implementation plans for acquisition of new systems hardware, upgrades, replacements, rehabilitation and recycling.
  • Manages server upgrades within the property inventories including hardware, application software, operating systems, peripheral software and network equipment.

L:  That sounds like the kind of job for a guy whose wife has died and he needs to get away from it all so he takes this job in a remote area, but it turns out that bad guys who just robbed a bank try to escape to Crater Lake park and hide and there is a falling out among the robbers and one of them is killed and the IT guy is a witness and now has to flee into the snow covered forest and is shot but only wounded and then is rescued by one of those helicopter ski girls who binds his wound and leads him to safety.

H:  Is the helicopter ski girl played by Sandra Bullock?

L:  Yes.  So, you can’t take that job because I don’t trust you around Sandra Bullock, and besides, you would have to marry me first and then I would have to die before you could even apply, so there is no part of this process that appeals to me.  Keep looking.