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H: Hey! Look at this! “Father of eleven year old driver arrested on DUII”

L: What? That doesn’t make sense.

H: No, really. This guy was drunk and decided to teach his eleven year old daughter how to drive in their trailer park in Coos Bay.

L: OK, Coos Bay. Now it makes sense. My <under_her_breath> second </under_her_breath> ex-husband made Coos Bay his home away from home during our divorce. His first home being the Ninety-Nine club across the street from the mill where he worked. He decided to become a “professional” shuffleboard player and Coos Bay had shuffleboard in a number of bars. He played in “tournaments”. Coos Bay is an armpit in the universe of armpits. I resent Coos Bay.

H: Because of shuffleboard?

L: Because it takes up valuable beach front property. Oh, dear. Doesn’t your friend live in Coos Bay?

H: He lives in Lakeside, between Coos Bay and Reedsport. It’s this little town.

L: There is no “town” there. It is simply a camping spot for duck hunters.

H: Well apparently enough duck hunters decided to move there. There are little streets for it on Google Maps.

L: Nooo, (shaking head) they didn’t decide to move there either, they simply ran out of gas. Haven’t you learned anything about Oregon yet?

H:Ā Apparently not.